Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
