Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
