Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize