Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
