She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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