my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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