Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
