At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
