i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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