be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
