why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
