So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had sex on a roof
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.