just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.