Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.