I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar