I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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