ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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