marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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