he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
