If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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