My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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