Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How does it feel to date your dad?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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