Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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