Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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