Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
