first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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