saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
