I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
