i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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