A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is Oprah even human
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize