I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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