After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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