the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
