We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
