whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
