she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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