So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
