Betty ford says i'm here all night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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