She's JV to your varsity
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
