whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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