Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize