Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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