He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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