Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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