Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
