she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
