He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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