that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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