she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
