3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize