No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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