Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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