Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
