I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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