He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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