my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
