So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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