Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
