Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
