nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
